Stop Being A Victim!

If being a victim is your only identity you desperately need a new one.

The only person stuck in place when you live in victimhood is you. It’s paralyzing.

This I know from personal experience.

In my lifetime I have endured some deplorable things and vile things.

I allowed the hurt, shame, fear, and anger these things made me feel to take over my life in a negative way.

I was so stuck on who did what to me that I didn’t realize that it was me currently victimizing myself.

The past was long gone.

I held that space of anger and hurt in my heart and mind for so long that I didn’t know who I was outside of being a victim of my childhood, those whom I encountered throughout my life and society.

I didn’t know a thing the time that negativity attracts negativity and that I was only attracting more negativity into my life.

The thought of me being happy made me afraid because I felt like something was always coming around the corner to snatch it away.

I felt that I wasn’t worthy of happiness. My self esteem was low and I had no self worth.

This was how life worked for me.

I allowed all the unpleasant things in my life to break me down and I never acknowledged the strengths that I was building.

I didn’t know how to be anything other than a victim.

Some of my issues were very deep and I thought it would be impossible to let them go.

It’s Not As Hard As You Might Think.

I’m definitely not making light of how a victimized person feels or the things they have been through or currently go through because I’ve been there.

However, I do know now that we have a choice. And once we make the choice to enjoy life we are free.

We can choose to be chained to and haunted by past memories, eaten alive by our anger, hatred, fears, anxiety, and hurt or we can decide that it’s time to take our life back and enjoy life.

I make it my mission to heal and continue healing anything that I recognize to be an issue.

Sometimes we don’t recognize a scar that needs badly needs healing.

If I can get past my issues and problems I know anyone can.

It only requires you to be willing to heal. You will not heal if you don’t want to.

It’s Up To You.

I made a decision to enjoy life. I was done with depression and a negative mindset.

You never truly know just how negative your mindset I see until you’re no longer living that way.

I made a choice to stop dwelling on who hurt or betrayed me.

I stopping hating my worst betrayers and offenders including the person responsible for the death of my unborn child before my third daughter was conceived.

This was huge for me!

I stopped focusing on ill treatment from those who were supposed to love me.

I stopped worrying about people  who either rejected me, made fun of me, or who participated in sweeping things under the carpet.

I realized that people can only deal with you according to how they feel about themselves and what their mindset is like.

People  are doing the best that they can in the moment depending on where they are in life.

My Whole View On Life Changed.

Prior to that I made choices to stop self harming and stressing myself. I made a choice to no longer suffer with bulimia that I developed in my teens.

By that point I had been placed on heart medication and sedatives for palpitations that went on 24-7.

Sometimes they were so bad that I would temporarily lose my vision.

I was scared and yet still binging and throwing up everything I ate.

I yo-yo dieted, practically starving and severely depriving myself at other times. It was a non stop cycle.

Then one day after throwing up my heart was palpitating so bad I couldn’t walk out of the bathroom until it took a small break.

I then realized I was going to die if I didn’t stop.

My four daughters were my biggest concern and motivator in stopping.

There was no one I could talk to because no one knew my secret including my husband, doctors and cardiologist.

So when I did open up about to those close to me it was a shock.

Revealing that helped me not to start it up again because it was no longer my shameful secret.

I can proudly say I left that self harming act in 2007. There has been time since since when it’s tried to rear it’s ugly head but I refuse to go back to that.

This is only one major thing that I’ve beaten in my life so it is possible to stop allowing the past to dictate your present and future.

The Past Is The Past.

While I couldn’t change the things that occurred I could change how I viewed them and the lessons or message I took from them.

The only person who can free you is you.

Many times we self imprison ourselves with the very things that we wish never even happened to begin with.

To let something go or to forgive someone doesn’t mean you’re condoning what occurred.

It means you are giving up holding that space of anger, upset, or even hatred that eats at you.

Life goes on for everyone else. You must choose for it to productively go on for you too.

Thrive instead of merely surviving.

Enjoy your life!

Love and light,

Alice Coaxum

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